


Thanks!

by voltronpaella



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cheating, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Cheating, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance is a Petty Bitch, M/M, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2019-01-26 20:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12565768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voltronpaella/pseuds/voltronpaella
Summary: Some people are assholes, so lance gets his revenge.





	Thanks!

Thanks Keith.

Thank you for leaving bite marks all over my husband’s chest. No, really, thank you. You saved me and my kids a load of trouble! As a reward, you can keep my husband, but there are a few rules if you decide to accept.

1.) You’ll have to take care of him financially. As I’m sure you know, we have two kids together! This means a large portion of his checks will go to me for child support, and since he ‘never wanted me to work more than I had to’, I’ve been a stay at home dad. That means he’ll owe me alimony too! Not so rich and inviting now, huh?

2.) You’ll have to buy him new clothes. After I saw those wonderful bite marks you left on him, it just so happened that my child went through and destroyed everything in his closet! Safety scissors apparently aren’t very safe on fabrics. Therefore he will come to you almost naked (lucky you). The bright side is that you can dress him any way you want. Go nuts and buy him a leash and some vinyl attire or a cute little dress while you’re at it!

3.) Every other weekend will be devoted to him visiting his children, so don’t plan on doing anything during those days. And I heard, since he openly (and drunkenly) admitted that he met you at some ‘tweaker’s’ house, that you’re just ‘some dumb drunk bitch’ he met. Because of this you’ll be banned from the visits due to fear for my children’s safety! He’ll probably even have to be supervised. Boo hoo.

4.) You won’t even be able to have a proper sex life anyways. I know you two didn’t screw last night, since his dick hasn’t worked properly in 4 years since the accident that also cost him his arm. That sucks because before that he was really good in bed! And you won’t even get to have a proper taste without a little blue pill– but don’t bet on that either, if he takes it he’ll only last 2 minutes. Stock up on batteries!

5.) Don’t expect to get a solid night of sleep ever again. Between his nightmares, his anxiety, and his PTSD, he’s awake at ungodly hours of the night. As his husband, I devoted my time to learning him and learning how to help him. It took me 4 years! So good luck!

6.) There are NO RETURNS on this transaction. He fucked up when he touched you, you can keep him and all the shit he comes with. He had a good thing going and he lost it. That was his own fault.

7.) He will blame you for ALL of this. He told me, with tears in his eyes, that you giggled to him “I hope your wife sees that”. I don’t know if you said it or not. I don’t really care. However, just in case you did, your wish came true. I did see it, and he’s pissed. He’s so mad that you made that comment that when I punched him in the eye after he apologized to me! Yes, I know violence is wrong and to be honest I’ve never hit anyone before. However, I am not sorry that I did and if I could have that moment back I would have simply aimed lower!

8.) This one isn’t really a rule, more like a friendly warning. I will make sure to take up as much of his time with the most petty crap I can find to spite you. I will make it my hobby to hurt him and you the same amount my kids are hurting right now. Please be aware that he will take it, he will deal with it for years with a smile. I was with him for 12 years, I know him better. Yes, I do feel completely justified in my actions. Just in case you were wondering.

Thank you, Keith the dumb drunk bitch from the tweaker’s house who bit all over my husband’s chest, for teaching me that 12 years and 2 kids can mean nothing against you. Good job on a man well won! ENJOY!


End file.
